A French Dream Revisited

The most frequent thing I hear is “you are living my life / dream“.

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I laugh and think…..nooooo……   Trust me, it isn’t always a dream.

It is however mine….full of bumps and bruises and mishaps along the way.

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No matter how much you love this new country, you are a fish out of water.

Your intellect and personality suddenly gone because you lack the vocabulary to express it in this new language.

I tell myself that each and every one of these ‘bumps’ provides an opportunity.

So, while everyone is chatting away, I take notice of what is around me.

I use my eyes to absorb with my ears can’t.

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The French love routine and tradition.

Americans tend to eschew them make their own way.

Do I think people, especially new family members, are being unkind when they look at me and question or laugh at what I do?

No.  I try to remember that I am just an anomaly.  It does however, allow me to process the cultural difference and adjust how I do things.

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Is this journey an easy one?  Far from it.

Change isn’t easy, no matter how much you love the surroundings.

You will lose people along the way, some that you love more than word can express, some that encouraged you to come here.

Your change and the growth won’t be comfortable for them.

I choose to believe that I will adapt and allow new experiences in to fill the void, no matter how slowly it seems.

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I love the brocantes…..every single detail about them…..and that is what I focus on when the journey is bumpy or downright turbulent.

I love learning and expanding my appreciation of what is at my finger tips, immersing myself in the history of each piece.

I love that in the space of a few steps I can hold a silk waistcoat from the 1700’s and then a document written in 1634.

I hope that I never lose that sense of amazement, nor allow anyone’s opinion or behaviour to dull it.

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Am I happy?   Yes, but that is a conscious choice each and every day.

My hope for whatever comes next is that I thrive where I have chosen to plant myself…..

even if it means doing it alone.

Beyond all of it?  I am proud that I have survived this journey.

sources – photos 1 &